I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
