You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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