Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
