No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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