they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
