I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
