Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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