Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Randomize
