oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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