I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
