theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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