dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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