Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
A+ Viking dick
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
