Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
