Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
