Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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