weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
