I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
