After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
