Buhtt sex?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We smell like vodka and hangover
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