Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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