You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
