We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
