So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
