How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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