I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they're like a gay fantastic four
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
