I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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