Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
