The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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