The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
