haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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