Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
