We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Enjoy the penises
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
