come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
