that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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