Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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