Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
