i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
