I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
