I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
