So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize