Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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