My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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