I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
