erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Everything about him screamed your future.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
