I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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