How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
