i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
