just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
