i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
