And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
